Northern Downpour
by Cerise Murmur
Summary: Alice's mind as she slips into insanity.


**Drugs and Alice in Wonderland just go together, don't deny. **

**Song- Northern Downpour by Panic at the Disco. **

**Reviews are sexy. **

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_If all our life is but a dream; fantastic posing green. Then, we should feed our jewelry to the sea. For diamonds do appear to be, just like broken glass to me. _

Flicker on. Flicker off. On, off, on, off.

My eyes opened, flooding lights and colors brighter than the sun. I saw my mother's face, my father's. I saw the caterpillar, his hookah smoking gently, his body limp.

Flicker on. Flicker off.

I saw my sister's face, flushed with breathlessness. But she wasn't in the meadow even though all around me I could see grass.

I felt flowers brushing against my legs, but amidst the normal flowers, there was a patch gossiping in hushed voices, glancing up at me, but at the same time glancing down.

They called to me, but they were my parents. Their little flower faces frowning in confusion, their little stem arms bent around each other.

_Then she said she can't believe that genius only comes along in storms of fabled foreign tongues, trippy eyes and flooded lungs. Northern downpour sends it's love._

Flicker on. Flicker off.

I saw a great beast rising before me, it's legs growing abnormally fast. It was standing in a sea, a sea of what? It looked like blood...but no, it must have been that liquid that was now being forced down my throat. It tasted like piss. No, it tasted like flowers.

It was still growing...no, now shrinking, mocking me. I was crying, and now I realized that the sea wasn't blood, but tears. My tears, and I was shrinking down into the waves, the bottle still raised to my lips. The poison melting down my throat.

I remembered a mushroom.

I remembered the taste.

_Hey moon, please forget to fall down. Hey moon, don't you come down. _

I thought for a moment that my eyes had closed, but realized a second later that they were wide open. I felt something slipping down my cheeks, but somehow I knew that it wasn't tears this time. I knew it was something more.

I heard laughter, I heard silence. I heard everything and nothing at the same time.

I felt death, I heard death. I felt cold fingers, but they were my own.

_Sugarcane in the easy morning. Weather vanes, my one and only. _

It wasn't morning, nor night. It was somewhere in between but certain all the same. It knew what it was, but I didn't. I only knew the color of the sky, the color of the grass. I wanted to swim in the sea I had created, but it was gone. Replaced by screaming colors and brilliant sounds.

Birds whipped past me, but they weren't birds, but toast.

Toast?

….toast?

I fell to the ground, the mud squishing through my fingers. Those cold, cold fingers. Those dead fingers.

_The ink is running towards the page, it's chasing off the days. Look back at both feet and that winding knee. I missed your skin when you were East, you clicked your heels and wished for me._

I needed a breath, I needed to blink. I needed to feel like I wasn't going to slip into a deep sleep and never wake up.

Something is what I needed.

And something was the only thing that this world couldn't give me.

_Through playful lips made of yarn, that fragile Capricorn unraveled words like moths upon old scarves. I know the worlds a broken bone, but melt your headaches, call it home. _

I was still falling, and it felt like it had been years.

This was when I was supposed to wake up. I would see my mothers face, telling me that breakfast was ready. I would sigh in relief to be back home.

But the bottom of the hole was approaching, and I was going to die.

I felt like I was moving a million miles an hour, but at the same time, suspended in midair, completely still.

I saw bright lights.

They looked like hospital lights.

And I heard my mother again. Crying. And my father, soothing.

I gasped for air, but my lungs wouldn't inflate.

I heard my name, over and over, like a prayer.

_Hey moon, please forget to fall down. Hey moon, don't you come down._

Flicker on. Flicker off.

And repeat.


End file.
